hey, hey, hey... how's it going? Just like that, August is here. I'm skedaddling off to for a long overdue trip home to Texas next weekend, and my heart is just so happy. While the summer in Nashville has been pretty brutal, heat-wise, the days have been good to me, and I know my time at home will just add endlessly to that bucket of gratitude.

But enough about that... here's some goodness for you:

• I never knew why the "no white after Labor Day" rule came about (and yes, I adhere to it)... but now I do. 
• Speaking of whites... I hosted a favorite things party a couple weeks ago and ended up with a new Essie polish--the perfect, elegant, pinky, white nude (and I feel like I've tried them all). 
• Haim hits it out of the park again. And I love how they spell out all of the background of writing this kick-ass new album. 
• Anyone else totally weak when it comes to Wikipedia rabbit holes? Here's one of my favorites... 
• This piece about French moms is just endlessly fascinating to me. 
• Perspective is an amazing, earth-shattering thing. 
• How cool is this infographic, showing how common each birthday in the year is?? (fun fact--mine of November 24th is the 352th most popular!)
• Steel Magnolias was one of the first non-Disney movies I ever remember watching--always surrounded by the women in my family, naturally. I even portrayed M'Lynn on stage when I was a freshman in high school... and after all immersion, I still never knew the full back story until this week. So fascinating! Can you believe it's been 30 years?
• Venmo shares all of our spending secrets. I've thought about this a time or two, and it's hilarious to see someone else having written out what has crossed my mind.
• Were you part of the masses who read "When Breath Becomes Air?" What very well might be my favorite book I've read this year, completed by the author's wife. Such a heart-wrenchingly raw and beautiful love.

Have the loveliest weekend!

In the interim while I figure out what to do with this thing, I thought I might press on with corralling some of my best recent finds... this is seriously one of my favorite kinds of posts, as I am perpetually that girl who has to tell absolutely anyone and everyone who will listen about the latest cool thing I've happened upon. So... you're welcome.

• Canceled my cable recently (jubilance!) and I try to listen to TED talks in the morning when I get ready in the absence of my morning news. With this one though? I found myself breathless and tear-stained between blowdrying my hair and refilling my coffee. 
• I love the idea of curiosity cabinets... so dreamy and classic. What do you think?
• After nearly a year of searching, my beloved church announced its new lead pastor this week (a cool message from him here). The general consensus I've heard is that everyone is really, really excited. 
• Such an achingly beautiful piece on motherhood. 
• I just won this cookbook as part of an instagram giveaway (lucky me!) and am really loving it. Homegirl is local and I have the hugest girl crush. 
• Speaking of local... Paul McDonald is the latest jam master who I can't get enough of. Listen to this really cool version of one of his latest singles. Careful--it's addicting. 
• Pictures of hipsters, taking pictures of food. Because you haven't seen enough of it IRL. 
• I just, rather impulsively, hacked my hair off at my shoulders and am loving the playful, summery update. I end up wearing it like this a lot... what's your favorite summer go-to style?
• The Madoff scandal remains deeply fascinating to me (one of my favorite books came from that, here). Did you watch the HBO movie too? I thought it was pretty intriguing, based on what I've read of the stories. 
• Trader Joe's snack round-ups are the best... probably because I'm so accustomed to shopping for the same ol' things, I usually overlook the goods (prep yourself for mango overload here). One noticeable item absent from this list? Jalapeño lemonade. Y-U-M. 

Hope you and yours had the loveliest Fourth!

I've been around these parts for a while. I've dashed to the keyboard to discuss a lot over the years--mostly light-hearted banter and ridiculous commentary, but being the open book I am, I've never found much to be off limits. And yeah, from time to time, I spilled out something deeply meaningful to me--usually about big loss--but lately, I find myself flailing when it comes to my role as a blogger. I know so many of you've been here too.

Blogging for me began forever ago... (xanga, anyone?). I prided myself on not selling out to what blogging has evolved to. Yet as blogging has become less and less about quality written content and more about sleek graphics, linked shopping sites and splashy ads, I find myself more and more disoriented. I feel a sense of contentment getting my words on a screen, but never set out to lock down any amount of income with them. Not all that suddenly, there doesn't feel like a ton of room for my "brand." (and yes, I shuddered a little, typing that).

I've long considered an aesthetic revamp, but deep down, I don't know that that will ignite the mind shift that I need to earnestly keep at this in a way that I'm proud of. I can't see myself falling away indefinitely, but I definitely need to adjust a bit.

A big portion of my back-burner blogging can be blamed on all of the life I've been living, which is a pretty fantastic reason for an inadvertent hiatus: new job (that isn't exactly limited to 9-5), all of the extra-curriculars, a wonderful boyfriend, my attempts at a social life, the very occasional night to myself... on one hand, there's plenty to discuss--and on the other, there's just no time or energy. Similarly, while my unbridled efforts of covering every detail of early 20-something life really fit that era of who I was as a human being, I don't exactly subscribe to the same manner of thinking anymore. I still firmly believe there's a beauty in vulnerability that may be unparalleled by anything else--but there's also something to be said for clutching the sweetest of memories close to heart.

So, I think I'll be back... soon I hope. But it'll be a little different... plenty of list round-ups of what I've stumbled across lately, lots of photo coverage of Maizie, and sure, a peek into my personal life here and there--but different, too. So much has yet to be determined, but I hope you'll stick around.

In the meantime, I've also dreamt up a little Nashville blog that I hope to dive into in the not too distant future.

xo

Best laid plans and all that, right?

I'd long been plotting a little 2016 recap post, because hey... I do it every year! I genuinely love looking back and beholding a smattering of my memories in one neat, sequential nook... no sifting through blurry candids or unedited versions necessary. It's always served as a little self-indulgent reflection and reminder of both the grandiose and mundane moments from the past twelve months, as opposed to being passable as quality post material for the masses, but you know... I guess I make the rules around here. Maybe I'll get around to it, maybe I won't.

I've finally come to the conclusion and relief that while sure, I blog, I don't know that I'll ever fall under the "blogger" category, you feel me? Nothing is carefully curated, nor scheduled consistently. You won't find a watermark on my clumsily snapped iphone photos. No shiny affiliate ads docked on the sidebar. Four-and-a-half months into the year and here I go, post numero uno--and a messy, somewhat disjointed summary of my inner thoughts for 2017 thus far, at that. Killing it over here...

See also: reason 437 why this girl could never rely on blogging to be her bread and butter.

Meanwhile. 

Thinking back to where I was a year ago, I feel peace... something I've yearned for, for as long as I can recall--a wish that varied in appearance from year to year, but something I'm so undeniably certain I have a firm grip now. While there's plenty that's unsettled in my life, and still some concern and anxiety surfacing now and again, in the depth of my core, I am swimming in a sense of contentment that I've never quite encountered. Some of it has been nurtured by age and experience, sure... but the bigger cause is due to being surrounded by some of the most incomprehensibly amazing people God has pieced together--and then somehow, someway, thankfully plopped into my life.

I want to dive into the concept of hindsight, but that treads dangerously near cliché phrasing, and I really try like hell to avoid that. But in the hope that warning you can relieve me of some of the responsibility, I'll go on:

it's absolutely mind-blowing to me how much you can learn about yourself if you just try. Change the scenery. Swallow your pride, listen to what you don't want to hear... be strong enough to listen to what you know is the truth. Dig up enough bravery to look back at yourself so you can measure how far you've come... or how much further you want to be. Then do whatever it takes to get there.

Fear held me back for such an embarrassingly long period--and it was a fear that I was unaware had permeated so many fibers of who I am--a fact that is even more humiliating, being that I've been referred to as "fearless" more than a handful of times in my life. By no means did I emerge from the rut solo or untarnished--I had more than a few people who thankfully and selflessly (and maybe even unknowingly) scooped up responsibility to get me back to being me. People who loved me enough to tell me what I didn't want to hear. People who put their own relationships with me on the line for the sake of somehow, someway breaking into my stubborn head. People who quite honestly yelled at me in an effort to have something sink in. People who dared to lift me up--over and over again--when I refused to hear it.

To all of the people in my tribe (again--overused, ridiculous word that is unfortunately the absolute best for this situation) who quite literally held me up,
who deftly countered my shallow defenses of someone who continually hurt me,
who have wiped the tears from my cheeks,
who have earnestly prayed for my tender heart, and promised there was a better tomorrow for me,
who knew when I needed the next generous pour of bota versus another unrelenting talking-to,
who feverishly attempted to convince me of my worth,
who've been invested and excited when I've encountered something good,
who patiently told me, "I love you, but you're wrong... and I'll still be here when it finally sinks in."
...I cannot thank you enough. It's not the slightest exaggeration that I am grateful daily for the depth of the way you've loved me.

I pour this out for so many reasons... it's been heavy on me, the gravity and peril of allowing fear and pain to pierce your actual identity. Gah, there is so, so much I have to figure out in this lifetime... and so much I'll never know. But maybe there's a truth you're ducking away from. Maybe you're the friend who desperately wants to pull your person out of something. Maybe you've been dancing your own charade as long as I did, and aren't even fully aware of it. There are countless faces to this, but fear is slapped across them all.

So much of this life is just the people at your side. There's a level of unparalleled authenticity that is unveiled when you discover the few souls who willingly go through your hell just to stick by you. The honest fact is that there are very few people you could reliably call on for absolutely anything in the world--and while the past few years have offered me the chance to drink up an immense amount about who I am and what I deserve, the most rewarding takeaway is knowing, unequivocally who is on my team.

And my gosh, I am a lucky, lucky girl.