M is for MOXIE.

• Yayy, let's kick this off with a Kelsey reunion. Why not?!
• Looks like she borrowed a dress from Stevie Nicks. Hmmmkay.
• Her ongoing act of feigning surprise is nauseating.
• No, sweetie. Using big words doesn't make you mean. Your general attitude makes you mean.
• Yes, please, let's talk about the panic attack!
• "You seemed to recover pretty quickly..." lololol. Nailed it.
• She's so full of it.
• "Somehow she felt she wasn't as smart as me." Wow. What a doll.
• HA, I love that Harrison calls him out for tattling on Kardashleyian.
• I totally respect him for cutting them loose though.
• Gahhh, Ashley S. What a maroon.
• "Ashley had a habit of just wandering around the property at night." Aaand, she thinks people are betting on her. Drugs, man.
• Jillian was top three, eh? All of my predictions might be way, way off then.
• "I get it, I suck at speeches. I farm." That was way cute.
• Neat "jackass" pun, Harrison.
• Oooooh, let's get into the Andi drama.
• She's seriously so, so pretty. I wish she seemed a little more genuine, but me thinks this whole experience changed her.
• Rocking that Kendra Scott statement ring like a champ.
• My heart breaks for her... what a mature decision to decide that if you don't truly better each other, you should part ways. I've been there, and it's a really heartbreaking thing to love and respect someone, but know that you need to move on in life.
• She has fabulous eyebrows.
• And really great skin.
• This interview makes me like her more... sad to say, but she's coming across as really genuine, even if it's through something so very upsetting.
• Dude, Andi and Chris Harrison are totally going to pair off. He hopes.

Alright, on to the nitty gritty.

• Kinda odd that Britt is asking him why he sent them home.
• Not a fan of Megan's dress. At all.
• ...but way to be up front, girl.
• Pretty sure he's about to kick you off.
• Sad. She's a little loopy, but seems like a good girl.
• And I think it's commendable that she took the reins and was honest about what was happening.
• There's the clink of death!
• Hmmm... I think Carly will be the next to go.
• There's Britt! Hanging all over Whit. Per the usual.
• Carly thinks she'll be the next to go too.
• Yayyy, Iowa!
• Wow. Britt and her sweats and sneaks stick out like a sore thumb.
• It's way cute to see him in his element, talking to the cows and whatnot.
• "It catches people off guard when they see it... it's not Des Moines." As if Des Moines is this really kickass, wild place.
• Props to the producers for really factoring in the hometown as part of the allure... accepting someone 100% for who they are and whatnot.
• He looks way more comfortable in his own surroundings.
• Pretty kitchen!
• Iowa is way the eff out there, but the land really is pretty... reminds me a lot of where I grew up.
• Can't imagine hobbling around in those booties is any kind of comfortable.
• What is Carly wearing on her head?
• Britt is totally cracking.
• "Small town" is one thing. Ghost town is kind of another.
• High school football game! Super cute.
• Ohhh man, the parents!!! That's huge!
• Britt... Crack-a-lackin.
• Uh oh... Playboy pics. Here we go.
• I think, as apprehensive as she is, she could probably pull off the small town vibes more than any of the other girls.
• So sweet that she tells him to be proud of where he's from... I think that earned major brownie points.
• Her excitement level is always a little too extreme. Like... calm down. Taking pictures in downtown Des Moines isn't all that awesome. 
• Geez, Britt. Calm down.
• Ahhh, spontaneous roadtrip! Really their idea or plugged by ABC? 
• Clearly ABC was on board, seeing as they have their black SUV filming and driving in tandem with the gals. 
• I will say, I think Whitney is here "for the right reasons." 
• Yep... be shocked. Nothing in Arlington, Iowa. Kinda like Jade told you, if you couldn't deduce that already.
• Lololol, this little posse of hot girls looks so very outta place.
• Is Carly wearing mom jorts?
• Nope... jort romp. Just as bad.
• Yeah, no, Britt... we determined you won't make it here.
• Kaitlyn is hysterical. I want to be her BFF.
• Again... Whitney. You're cute, you've got this. Just take it down a notch. 
• Damn, man... put her on the spot!
• Chris and Whitney look good together.
• Carly... kinda funny that you're spending so much time hating Britt. She's burying herself, no worries.
• Crazy sad about Whitney's mom.
• Awww... their mural pic is pretty cute.
• But would make a really awkward tourist attraction over the next year if she isn't the one chosen in the end.
• When they're screened for the Bachelor, do they have to practice the jump and cling? The whole wraparound with the legs thing doesn't really happen in life... so, stop trying to make that happen, ABC.
• Becca does a good job of seeming interested in all of the date recaps.
• Kaitlyn and the crop tops, man.
• This is a crappy group date. Who wants to ice skate, four people total?
• Britt has great hair and fabulous skin for someone who allegedly never showers.
• Hard to know if Britt is being real or not... I want to believe in her, but it doesn't look great.
• Also hard to know if Carly is really pulling this card of telling Chris because she just sincerely cares about him and his future, or if maybe, just maybe, it's a great way for her to get an edge.
• Gahhh, I really don't know who is going home!
• Not a huge fan of the general wardrobe situation this season. Too many crop tops and exposed shoulders and berry lips in broad daylight.
• I might be in the minority, but while I personally don't see Britt living it up in Iowa, I think she is being genuine about what she THINKS she wants.
• Kaitlyn nailed it: "I don't think Britt is being honest with herself."
• Kaitlyn in a vulnerable moment... glad he reaffirmed her feelings.
• She looks like a cross between an Olsen and Brittney Snow.
• Britt's totally going to lose it when she realizes he gives Kaitlyn the rose.
• "You are making me soft." Lololol, I really, really like her.
• Britt's meltdown is now happening in front of everyone. Way awkward.
• Ha, Kaitlyn and Carly totally don't even want to be there either. Their discomfort trumps the excitement of seeing Britt collapse.
• Uh oh... I feel like Britt is going home.
• Guzzle that pinot, Carly!
• They have a good point... "there's a lot of focus on you. This was just you last week."
• Ha, Whit totally wants utter confirmation... she wants solid reassurance that Britt is leaving too.
• I realize it's tough to watch Britt constantly playing front runner, but I really feel for her. She had all of this confirmation, over and over again, and now it's getting gritty with the other gals.

...until tomorrow, friends!! It's getting real!