M is for MOXIE.

 //via.//

Bali Bali Bali! Nice change of pace, Bachelor Nation. It's about frickin' time.

• Nice wardrobe, broseph. J. Crew does Indonesia. 
• "Hey, man. Sit there on that rock so we can get a shot of you wistfully staring into the sunset. Nah man, turn more to the sun, we're losing daylight."
• Kaitlin is adorable. 
• ...oh man. Maybe tuck your cheeks back into those shorts.
• I would be totally screwed if transportation of my cargo depending on my posture.
• Really would like to know what the story behind the tricep tats are.
• MONKEYS.
• She totally has a Miley thing about her... but in an endearing SNL skit kinda way. If that's possible.
• Those monkeys are freaking ALL over him. I would be dyinggggg laughing, oh my gosh.
• Hahahahaha, did you see the tourist in stripes leap up and walk away from the banana snatching situation? Homeboy don't want any part of that.
• Okay, not to be all Sappy McSapperson, but you can almost see her letting her guard down. She seems to be loosening up and not relying on her humor as she is trusting him more. I really like her.
• Pretty dress!! She has a great body.
• It kind of appears that it's tough for him to connect with her on a deeper level than just humor. They clearly get along on that level, but I think it'll hurt her in the end.
• It's really sweet to hear her open up... you can tell she's crazy nervous.
• There it is: fantasy suite. What a surprise.
• "I can't....... imagine saying no to that." Well-played.
• You deserve it? You deserve what? You didn't train for the Olympics. Have some willpower, hombres.
• The flower petals in the bathtub look like an autopsy.
• Gosh, I can't tell you how much I hate the jump and cling. Like... don't. Girl, don't.
• "I miss you SO much!" Uhh... what's it been, 48 hours? 72, maybe?
• All of these up-the-shorts shots. I don't care how skinny you are--none of that is flattering, ABC. 
• I'm getting seasick just watching that boat rock.
• Crazy cute swimsuit.
• Ughhhh... to quote my dearest MHM: "I hashtag cannot." Don't rattle on and on about how you love someone SO much. It's been weeks!! You are bright and intelligent women! Wake up, please (and yes, I realize waking up wouldn't constitute a solid gold TV experience).
• Ha! Love the boat captain and his little victory stance! Love is a language that knows no boundaries, y'all!
• I like the neon--ew, but not a fan of that drastic A-frame slit.
• Guzzle that wine, babydoll. Life is tough. It's tougher in Iowa.
• Whoa! Baby card! Put it all out there!
• It's bizarre to try to take in this sweet moment with them, knowing he likely slept with Kaitlin last night, right?
• Round two of le Suite!
• I love how all of the girls get sing-songy while reading the card, as if that makes it romantic or sweet. The jig is up.
• Oh my gosh, now that I've totally lost my naivety card (thanks to you, Nick), this is harder to watch. I totally used to swear that there's no way they all sleep together. Yeah, I live in a Disney movie.
• They don't do it in the same bed, right? (Clearly, I wasn't paying attention when the first love nest was shown.)
• I will say, I really think these two (whomever they may be) could have a solid chance. The girls have always known what they're getting into with the move to Iowa, on some level. Without the big city lights and egos (everyone left seems pretty down-to-earth), I see this one lasting. Maybe.
• Did Becca get her highlights done before Bali?
• Is she wearing windshorts?
• QUADS.
• "Are we meant to be together?" Damn, don't ease into it or anything.
• Gah, poor girl. As if she needed any more stress.
• She has really good hair. You know Bali is all kinds of humid, but she clearly packed some Kerastase.
• Awkward standing in the water makeout shot.
• Yellow is so very much her color.
• I think this is the most she's talked all season.
• I totally respect and appreciate her for laying it out there, saying she wants to be absolutely certain of her feelings.
• I will venture to say that I think Chris 1) is smitten with Becca, but worried about her lack of certainty, 2) really likes Kaitlyn--and her humor, and 3) knows Whitney is totally safe--a sure thing (and a good one, at that).
• I don't think the virginity situation is the deal-breaker--I do wonder if the fact that she never mentioned this up until now is representative of a lack of openness, or something similar. You know?
• He totally thought this was leading there. And he's really struggling to find words now.
• Pull those curtains, Chris! We have not a clue as to what's happening!
• Yawn. Same script, different season. Life is tough, Chris.
• So, basically we hear that while he's into everyone, he's really into Becca.
• Kaitlyn is really into him...
• ...and Whitney is confident. We get it.
• Those outfits--yes, while I know are indicative of the locale--aren't doing them any favors.
• LOL--you can totally see their emotions all over their faces. Kaitlyn is doe-eyed and swoony, Whitney is jittery and excited, Becca isn't sure how to feel.
• Lots of heavy exhaling.
• Aaaaand, Whitney appears to be not so confident anymore.
• Whitney and Kaitlyn both totally think Becca is being kicked off... I don't think so, though.
• Well, looky there... she validated him, just like he wanted.
• I mean, cut the girl some slack. It's gotta be tough to throw it all out there and say she's in love when she says she's never had those feelings before.
• Oh, gosh... this can't be good, Kaitlyn. Those editors won't allow you rambling on and on and in the end, you stay here, sister.
• And now Whitney starts laying down the law about how Becca isn't ready. Back off, girl, you don't know her life!
• Awkward rooster crowing in the background.
• Poor, Kaitlyn. She totally knows.
• Ugh... for the first time, I can actually say that was tough to watch.
• Awkward forced hug.
• Rooster creeping in the back!
• "What happened?" - K. Good for you, girl.
• Why the whispering?!!
• Okay, Chris... maybe stop telling her how excruciating it's been for you. 
• Yeah, wow... the babble. Stop. You're making all of this so much worse for her, dude.
• Gah, good for her for keeping it together. She was a champ.
• Talk about salt in the wound--wearing that vibrant frock on your ride of shame home.
• Who picks the score for the Bachelor shows? Tell me Chris Harrison is perched at a piano right now, because that's what I'm envisioning.
• Kaitlyn for Bachelorette! Totally want her over Britt now.

So, I'm convinced he'll pick Whitney now... and voila! Safe, stable, vanilla life. Until next season...